Being the daughter of a mom with fibromyalgia is tough, it can definitely put a strain on that mother daughter relationship because sometimes it feels more like a relationship between you and your mom’s fibromyalgia than a relationship between you and your mom. I have learned that there are good days and there are bad days.
Days she needs more support, more help, more positive words, more love, etc., and there are days where she needs her space because she is feeling a little extra crappy, a little extra emotional, and a little extra frustrated. I don’t know about anyone else, but I was blessed with a pretty amazing mom! One who is a great role model, one who shows great amounts of strength and also perseverance. I have learned a lot of things from my mom, but I want her to know that even though having fibromyalgia may be horrible, and may make life feel unbearable at times, mom, I hope you know that I love you to the moon and back and always will, no matter what.
Being the daughter of a mom with fibromyalgia has made me realize and accept the fact that there are gonna be days when mom is going to need me to run to town to get groceries because driving to town, walking around the store, and carrying heavy bags can make her really tired and really hurt.
There are going to be days where she needs an extra hug. There are going to be things that she misses, like choir concerts or sporting events because getting up, getting ready, and then sitting in some uncomfortable auditorium chair for 2 hours is going to make her hurt so much more tomorrow.
But I have learned that it is ok if she misses a few of those things, because I know she is always thinking about me when I’m doing them, and she’s always excited to hear about them when I get home.
Being the daughter of a mom with fibromyalgia can be tough, because some days you feel so helpless, which is one of the worst things! Watching your mom suffer and struggle is hard, and knowing that she wants to do more than her body physically allows her to is so hard to see.
Mom, I just hope you know that I’m here for the good days and also the bad. I am always here as a solid foundation for you. A shoulder to cry on, on the not so good days, a person to laugh uncontrollably with on extra good days, a person to rant to on the extra frustrating days, and I’m also here to try and put a smile on your face every single day. Because even though I am the daughter of a mom with fibromyalgia, I am also the daughter of a damn good mom!
“I love you to the moon and back!”
Love, your “punkin”
by Haley Puddicombe
A Letter of Thanks from A Mother With Fibromyalgia to her Daughters
Life has certainly been hard since this condition reared its ugly head. My life has been turned upside down and things will just never be the same. But this does not just apply to me, this applies to you as well. I’m realizing and trying to comprehend that my life as I knew it will never be the same. But I’m also learning that life as you know it has also changed. I don’t know when things started to change but as I look back at you girls being little, I remember lots of fun times, lots of laughter, and lots of adventures.
As you got older, we still managed to have amazing fun and lots of laughs. But in the last few years, things have changed. I used to never say no to whatever we had in store for the day. Shopping, family trips, camping, anything we may have wanted to do as a family. My life started slowing down, my physical well-being was no where near what it once was. I now have learned that I have this condition called fibromyalgia.
Things will just not be the same. You girls have watched me change and slow down. I’m no longer able to do the things I once did and I won’t be able to do things with you that we once used to do. Not many families understand what fibromyalgia is or how it affects a family. But from day one, since learning that things were not ok with me, you’ve stepped up, you learned that things were going to be different, you never questioned it, you just went along with it. You never questioned this new reality I’m dealing with, you’re dealing with.
You girls have learned that things I once used to do, I can no longer do. You’ve learned that some days I push myself further than I should. And the biggest thing, you’ve learned that in no longer the mom you used to have. This is a big thing to understand for a 17 year old and a 13 year old, yet neither one of you questioned what was happening, why it was happening, or how it would affect you. You girls now had to adjust to a new normal, just as I had to, and yet you never missed a beat.
You have learned to know when I need some extra help, when I need you to do errands for me, or when I just need some time alone. You’ve learned to read my face and know when things aren’t just right and you seem to know things that might help me. Since I’ve been dealing with this condition you have also learned that sometimes my moods have been unpredictable, happy one minute, mad the next, and in tears shortly after. You’ve had to learn the hard way that any mood is unpredictable.
But yet you roll with it and don’t question it. I used to be able to attend any and all school and extracurricular activities, but now, if it’s a bad day, you understand that me coming to activities may cause more pain and make the next day more uncomfortable and you are more than understanding. You girls always seem to know when mom needs a little extra love and a little extra caring.
The hugs & kisses, the “favors”, the errands, the chores, and any of the day to day things that I need help with, you know when it’s needed. Since this new reality has become our lives, you’ve never given up hope on me or for me. This is something no kid your ages should have to deal with but you manage it it with grace and strength. You’ve never belittled who I am now or made me feel like less of a mom.
The small gestures like hugs & kisses, flowers, help around the house, or sending me to the couch when you know I’ve done to much, it means more than you will ever know. I’m a pretty lucky mom in so many ways. But most of all, I’m the proud mom of two pretty amazing girls whom I love to the moon and back. My “punkin” and my “boo”…I love you more than you will ever know!